Evan and I learned I was pregnant while we were here in Grand Rapids house hunting. Right off the bat, Evan and I had a fun, exciting, and very special memory here in our new home, before it was even our home. It felt like a gift.
In November 2015, we will welcome a new little one into our family.
Of course, he or she already feels like part of the family, even though I can’t yet quite picture how another baby will fold into these new rhythms we’re trying to establish.
In reality, I know that by November, everything will be vastly different. By then, it will be winter, a phenomenon I can’t even wrap my brain around just yet. (And to be perfectly honest: I am scared about enduring my first Michigan winter with a newborn at home.) Ian will be 27 months old, and I can only imagine how much he’ll change over the next seven months. Evan will have worked out a good rhythm at work, and we’ll have our “regular” Grand Rapids spots to frequent. Every time we explore a new place or make a change to our new home, every time we try a new store or adjust our weekly routine, I wonder, “What will this be like when the new baby is here?”
Part of me wants to speed along the process of settling in, thinking that I better get it all figured out before this new little one is born. I want to be able to draw clear lines or circle dates on the calendar: this is before we got settled, this is after we got settled, and this is when the baby arrived. The planner in me would like a clear picture of what life as a family of four will look like. But, I know that change doesn’t quite work this way. I am learning to embrace and even look forward to the unknowns. That feels like freedom, and I’m grateful for it.
So, no, I simply can’t imagine what life with this new baby will be like, but I am so excited to find out.
I can’t wait to catch glimpses of those first smiles and feel a tiny baby hand wrapped around my finger. I am excited to find a spot downstairs for a swing and to put my Ergo to good use again. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be for laundry to increase and sleep to decrease. I’m thrilled with the possibility of adding some pink and sparkle to our home, but I’m also more than happy to further embrace the title of “boy mom” if that’s what God has planned! I’m excited for a baby asleep on my shoulder once more and to read Goodnight, Moon again every evening.
Though I can’t imagine how it will happen, I can’t wait to feel our family and our hearts expand again.
Dear little one, we can’t wait to meet you.